URL- blog︎

#03: 2024 ovt’s & in’s pt. I.

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xxx,
smh 黄丹妮
11.12.23, 20:37 pm
︎HK, HK

#02: sk8ing to the m00n // braking the internet // lunar festival begins 🌙️

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Skaitor launches to the m00n
September 19, 2023
glitch art
Tiktok: @Sk8er_m00n

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lgbtq(I)a? lost my insurance in july
September, 2023
35mm transfered to digital

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what does it feel like?

It’s kind of like that time
I got my teeth pulled out of my
gaunt
jaw
when there was blood drizzling
from my mouth but I didn’t know
until ideal, little, red circles
appeared on my collarbone
and I knew how I was supposed to feel,
what I was supposed to feel,
but there I was, unfeeling.

– stephanie mei huang, 2014

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tattoos by Chao Hai, 超海

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五年（给费玫的玫瑰诗）
大地母亲为我哭泣

用日渐式微的方言
她的哭泣
无人见证

因为她的来电
我总是躲避

大地母亲为我错过的
两位女族长葬礼
哭泣

她坐在
灶台旁的椅子上

想做饭
却无法起身

我哭泣
坐在大地母亲的怀里
躯体俨然/已经壮大得
让怀抱成为摇不动的摇篮

大地母亲的遗憾
是我在别处的同化

我哭泣
因为我无法告诉她
我还没准备好当女族长/元首

– stephanie mei huang, May, 2023
translated by Jill Zheng

double seventh festival (Chinese v-day)
August, 2023
35mm transfered to digital

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Five Years (a rose poem for Rose)
2023

Motherland cries for me
In a waning dialect

She cries without witness
For the phone calls
I’ve evaded

Motherland cries
For the funerals I’ve missed
Of two matriarchs now passed

She sits
At the stove in a chair
Because she wants to cook
But cannot stand

I cry
Sitting in the womb of Motherland

My body now too big
For her to reasonably cradle
Motherland’s regret
Is my assimilation elsewhere

I cry
Because I cannot tell her
I am not ready to be matron
/ maverick

– stephanie mei huang, May, 2023

29 barfday/
double seventh festival (Chinese v-day)
August, 2023
35mm transfered to digital

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i’m just a bro
September––, 2023
35mm transfered to digital

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if you wish to listen to the pulsation / bpm of my culture

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braking the internet
September 29, 2023
screenshots

xxx,
smh 黄丹妮
9.29.23, 21:44 pm
︎SH, CN

#01: 3x-OdUs

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burn book
August, 2023
scan

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9/14/23, 9:40 am – colonoscopy, gastroscopy, epinephrine injection, rapid urease test, endoscopic tissue biopsy, lidocaine hydrochloride slurry, ultrasound: liver, bile ducts, gallbladder, pancreas, spleen, kidneys
9/13/23 – solid food fast, oil free diet, electrolyte prep.
9/10/23, 10:00 am – new in-person psych to begin official ASD diagnosis
9/8/23, 10:00 am – new virtual psych (ASD specialist)
9/7/23, 9:00 am – 5000km barefoot sprint to hospital, second iv, second ultrasound: lymph
9/6/23, 9:30 am – blood work, first iv
9/5/23, 10:30 am – blood work
9/4/23, 8:30 am – blood work, ultrasound: thyroid

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vitamin b, etc.
September, 2023
35mm transfered to digital

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an hour before you wake

it is in soft light I picture you.
it is
the color that stems from feathers,
that feels cool only in the corners

    it is
   watching you water your basil plant, its roots
having found flowers, you place the buds in a mason jar
before leaving for work

you try to figure out which direction
to hang the circular painting

as         I rub the nape of your neck.

I think to myself:
maybe I am pliable like the quiet shadows
the floor lamp casts on your floor, we spent a lot
of time driving:

all of this because I haven't known you in winter

but would like to

– stephanie mei huang, 2014

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xxx,
smh 黄丹妮
9.10.23, 22:01 pm
︎SH, CN

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